Have problems reaching a peak?

It takes me too long to reach a peak. What can be the reason?

Why bother at all when it comes to pleasure?

Sex as a process is also very pleasant. When you enjoy every caress, every touch of your partner. 

When we try to get an orgasm “in 15 minutes”, we constantly think about it: “When will I finally achieve it? Why is it taking so long?"

You start thinking and stop feeling. There is a rollback and instead of 15 minutes, the orgasm comes after 20, 30, or even 40 minutes.

All you need to do is relax.

When you stop controlling and pushing yourself - you get PLEASURE!

What else can slow down your orgasm:

👉🏻 You feel ashamed in front of your partner that you can't finish for so long.

👉🏻 You don't feel chemistry with your partner or you've been together for a long time and he doesn't turn you on.

👉🏻 You are at odds or you are stressed.

👉🏻 Maybe you have complexes about your body and you can't stop thinking about it.

👉🏻 You have sex because you “have to” and you may experience pain in the process.

👉🏻 You didn't have enough time to get turned on before the penetration.

Sexual interaction consists of certain phases: attraction-desire-excitation-plateau-orgasm-resolution. These steps cannot be skipped. 

If there is no foreplay, if you treat your own body badly, or if you perceive sex as a "marital duty", you’ll certainly have a problem achieving orgasms.

❓What to do?

Listen to yourself. Do not push, do not agree when you don’t want to, and try to resolve all the conflicts with your partner. And the most important thing is to allow yourself to have an orgasm.

Yes, let an orgasm come not in 15 minutes, but in an hour. Don't beat yourself up for it. Give yourself the freedom to be yourself, especially in sex.

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  Sex therapist specialized in mental health with an additional education
in sexuality and sex-related topics.